lost in paris #realtalk

the day i came to paris i was stoked

and i got that feeling, like you know the feeling

when you turn the last page of the final review

and like when you reach the 12th day of christmas.

and i love paris. i've been waiting for paris.

but when it came to be honest i was a bit

overwhelmed.

like when you're asked to close for work on a school night

or when you find yourself just barely opening your textbook

and it's long past midnight.

that feeling.

in my first few steps on paris ground i had to stop..

collaborate and listen not to vanilla ice but to paris.

i was lost. 

not in my location, but in my state of mind.

for once in my life i wasn't forced to go right.

i was allowed to request my destination 

and choose my journey. 

so i felt overwhelmed. 

and so you can blame it on me or on akon whatever 

but i felt overwhelmed. 

but then as i saw the possibilities in paris 

my mind went all to infinity and beyond.

and it was in that moment i saw summer coming again,

spiderman joining the avengers,

and colored sharpies writing not coloring.

and it was in that moment 

i knew i wasn't lost in paris.

but i had to find myself in paris.

and so i put my hair up, sat in the sun,

stared at the tower and 

i found myself finally lost in paris.

Newspaper Blackout

"Finals 
reflect 
the efforts 
we played, 
so
in a way, 
it 
demonstrates
skill"

"the truth"...Don't read this if you take things personally

when "the truth" came out I really said to myself
"well that sucks".
but i wasn't talking about me,
that was how it must feel for many
of my fellow creative writing bloggers.
i'm honestly really sorry for those of you
who have shared personal events or details
on your blog...
i shared personal ideas on my blog too,
but nothing too personal...
we hear all the time how we shouldn't say,
post, and do things online that we wouldn't
do in person. we all know that but then
why did so many students do that?
i'm sorry if you felt like you had to go back
and delete a bunch of stuff...but that's why
you should never go around saying things
you wouldn't say in real life.
so if you care about what others like of you,
and espeically if you have depression or something
don't put it online under a fake name..
talk about it in person with people
you really love and love you back.
if you read this you probably agree
or want to shoot me...
either way...i''m just saying what to me is
"The Truth".
like you did with the reviled blog names..
Face it.
And get over it.
whether you like it or not. 
#harsh
#thetruth

Having trouble finishing a book?...this is for you

How to finish a book...
Never, ever
put it 
down.

Feelin' a lil' empty... #solitude #sadchair

Villains

it all begins with a little jealousy...

Jealousy

I'm jealous of the girl in this picture...
she's at the place I've been dreaming 
to go to for my whole life...

I'm jealous of the peace. The peace
she is feeling. The peace I've wanted
to feel for the longest time. 
I'm jealous of the view. The horizon.
The clear sky, the clear water.
I'm jealous at the fact that she is so young
and has already witnessed true beauty. 
I'm jealous of the heat that sizzles 
through the air. While the faintest breeze
blows her hair back for only a moment. 
I'm jealous that the plants are so green
and the sand is so pure.
I'm jealous that it's her in Hawaii
and not me. 

a quick note to "Bing"

Ok "Bing", 

just because you have a cool home page,

doesn't mean I'm ever gonna use 

your stupid search engine. 

Just stop trying. 

At the Pond

peace
life
air
trees
stillness
warmth
freedom
echos
grass
calm
water
breeze
fish
fresh
meditation
rocks
kids
relaxation
home

chillin
sand
clarity
blue sky
bikes
dirt
bugs
clear
fishing
dogs
ducks
sunny 
beauty

Reasons the Divergent movie wasn't as good as it could've been

If your gonna read this post, you must know i read the book first and fell in love with it, so...
Reasons the Divergent MOVIE pissed me off... 
#spoilers 
(not in order of importance)
~they left out wayyyyyyyy too many characters. like important characters like Uriah=important and Susanna=important. and even other people like Lynn, Marlene, Robert, Edward, Drew, and they barely mentioned Molly! would it really have been that hard to find actors?! 
~Tori was in it, but they didn't even mention her name!
~in the book you absolute haaaaaaate Peter cause well he's evil! and in the movie they just make him seem like a jerk and that's it. NO! he is a cruel, cruel person and everyone should hate him.
~why the frick is Christina so short? she's supposed to be tall!
~why the frick is Tris tall? she's supposed to be short and have a not too matured body. But whatever i'll get over that one cause Shailene Woodley did a good job.
~if Veronica Roth made the effort to specify Will's eye and hair in the book...was it really too hard to at least dye the guy's hair blond?! 
~some scenes were out of order. was that really necessary?
~they kept making you think "it was a dream". they were confusing people who hadn't read the book if what was happening was real or not. the book is not like that at all! you know exactly when they are in a stimulation and when they're not. the whole time my sister was like "wait is this a dream?". and i'd either say NO they're in a stimulation, or NO this is real! there are NO dreams! it was annoying. 
~they only kissed during one scene and it was a short scene too! the book is not like that. Really hollywood, now you decide to clean things up?! #stupid
~Christina and Will are supposed to hook up...and do they? NO so you don't even think about feeling bad for Christina when Will dies, which is supposed to be a really sad reason that he died.
~Al is supposed to be fat.
~i won't even get started on the scene when the 3 other initiates try to kill Tris...it was all wrong!
~the pronunciation of the faction names and people are weird, but i'll get over it.
~you can't tell at all that Al likes Tris!
~they didn't do anything to show the friendship Tris and Christina have.
~it should've been longer.
Don't get me wrong the movie was still waaaaaaaay good. but they could've easily improved some stuff as discussed above :)

Why I Don't Listen to My Bones

My bones tell me to CALM THE FREAK DOWN. They tell me to STOP MOVING AND TAKE A BREAK (haha unplanned humor). My mind tells me to GO CRAZY. It tells me to KEEP GOING. And then i get stuck... Who should I listen to? And then i realize that I do take a side without realizing it... I listen to my mind. But why do I listen to my mind when I really want to listen to my bones? Maybe it's cause the world is training you and me to ignore what our bones are telling us to do...All the world cares about is how smart you are, how pretty you are, and about the number of things you can do. While all your bones need is just to sit and stay in place so you won't cause them any harm. But if you just stay in place your mind will encounter the greatest harm a mind can face...BORDOM. What's wrong with bordom? Nothing. Parents, teachers, leader, and the world in general teach you to think that's bad. But then again...bordom doesn't stimulate your mind, so then you die right? So then bordom is bad right? And then I catch myself listening to my mind, when I really just want to listen to my bones. 

What I Want to Be

      ~ Tobias Eaton ~

Things I Want Dead and Gone...

-mosquitoes
-tangled earphones
-double bubble gum
-dull scissors
-acne
-insects
-dog poo
-gray clouds
-stress
-cold weather
-pens when the ink won't come out
-onions when they make you cry
-smelly socks
-textbooks
-books that have a sucky ending
-illnesses
-moldy food

why am i afraid of rainy days?

Why on earth would i be afraid of rainy days?
  well it's not really the rain itself that i am afraid of...
I'm afraid of the power rain has-
   how it can transform a bright, hot, sunny day 
   into a dark, cold, gloomy night in an instant. 
Rain turns blossoming trees into a pile of leaves. 
It turns newly rich soil into a muddy mess. 
It turns a white cotton-ball like cloud into a dying grey blob.
Some people protest, "but rain brings life!" 
   and i respond, "but so does the sun..." 
I'm afraid of a new happy day turned into a sad blur 
   all because of little watery tears falling from the sky. 
No matter what you say...
   i'll always be afraid of rainy days. 

irrational fears

i'm afraid of outer-space
i'm afraid of squirrels
i'm afraid of the wind
i'm afraid of pride
i'm afraid of horror movies
i'm afraid of acne
i'm afraid of hairy men

i'm afraid of pain
i'm afraid of the dark
i'm afraid of left overs
i'm afraid of smart people
i'm afraid of money
i'm afraid of smelly cars
i'm afraid of A.P. classes
i'm afraid of disorganization
i'm afraid of being alone
i'm afraid of technology
i'm afraid of elderly white women 
i'm afraid of people in authority
i'm afraid of the final episode of a tv show
i'm afraid of the final pages of a good novel
i'm afraid of dead fish
i'm afraid of falling off my bed in the middle of the night
i'm afraid of the future
i'm afraid of rainy days

Keep Moving Forward

From failure, you learn. 
From success, not so much.
Keep Moving Forward!

~Meet the Robinsons

concrete vs. abstract

taking something concrete (bricks) 
and using it to explain an abstract concept 
(what makes up a successful person?)
"A successful man is one who can 
lay a firm foundation with the 
bricks others have thrown at him" 

Dare

Snow White: 
     dared to be kind to everyone
Cinderella: 
     dared to follow her dreams
Aurora: 
     dared to talk to a stranger
Ariel: 
     dared to try something new
Belle: 
     dared to get lost in a book
Jasmine: 
     dared to trust others
Pocahontas: 
     dared to teach others
Mulan: 
     dared to be whoever she wanted to be
Meg: 
     dared to love again
Tiana: 
     dared to take chances
Rapunzel: 
     dared to break the rules
Merida: 
     dared to change her fate
Elza: 
     dared to let go of the past
Anna: 
     dared to always speak her mind 

Something Different

What should i do different?
How 'bout quote someone i will never quote again...

"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you"

~Taylor Swift

But in T's defense... i do kinda like this song

What People Want

people want> mended hearts

people want> an all-you-can-eat special

people want> to shop with Stacy and Clinton

people want> to stay forever young

people want> a perfectly bright future

people want> to freely have

     no shoes, no shirts and still get service

people want> to ride in style

people want> to obnoxiously sing 

     with the windows down

people want> money to grow on trees...
     but literally

people want> to have movie marathons

     and tv 

     and just straight up netflix 

people want> to live in summer forever

people want> a compliment everyday

people want> to travel the world

people want> freedom

people want> mended hearts

If I Ain't Got You

"Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, Yeah
Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share 
With no one who truly cares for me"

~AK

the Element of Freedom

"And the day came 
when the risk 
it took to remain
tightly closed
in a bud,
was more painful 
then the risk 
it took to bloom;
This is the 
element
of freedom."
~AK

Crayons

The colors that inspire you, may not inspire me. 
The colors people hold dear, vary for every person.
We all have a different color on our skin.
We all have a different color in our eyes. 
Personalities  never share the same color. 

Colors are expressed through personality and appearance.

Different colors in friends and even in families--
The colors come together so beautifully;
The colors complement each other so drastically.
Each individual color may not look like anything to extraordinary,
but when the colors come together, united in a single scene...
it suddenly becomes a grand  masterpiece.

Nothing Has Changed

Today was one of those days where you just wake up angry,

and so then everything pisses you off.

You yell when you don't mean too, and

you accidentally say what you don't want too.

But then during the day (after a few hours of calming down 

and regaining some energy) you seem to find joy.

But once it gets late, you start getting that droopy face,

those swollen eyes, runny nose (since it's January in Utah),

your limbs get weaker, and that not so minor headache...

everything your body does to

let you know it's time to crash.

And then you get that 2 hour pep talk really late at night

from your mother...all about how you need to start

 improving your life and get better.

And now your pissed off all over again

because you already know you're not doing your best,

and you definitely don't need someone 

to remind you of it.

So now you're about to have one of those days

when you fall asleep angry.

And realize nothing has changed since this morning

when you woke up.

Simply Human

I loudly laugh. 

I unwillingly cry.

I hurt deep inside.

My body bleeds.

My body heals.

I sit and wonder.

I stand and suffer.

I quietly listen.

I purposely ignore.

I talk my own way.

I walk my own way.

I experience.

I fight when i believe.

I eat more than I should.

I grow until I stop.

I change all the time.

I admire others.

I inspire others.

Some people I hate.

Some people I love.

I make mistakes,

but I live every day

in my own way 

because I'm simply human.

As I Am

My name is Alicia Harlem and I love music, especially Alicia Keys songs. In case you don't know who she is or if you're not sure exactly sure who she is...lemme tell ya... She's an amazing R&B singer and songwriter, along with being an incredible pianist. She's a great inspiration to me, maybe it's cAuse I grew up listening to her music through my older siblings. And I guess cause she's from New York and I've been there hundreds of times...literally, and I love it. The East Coast is home for both of us. I sing and play piano too... for 10 years now, but minus all the wasted months of not putting in my best effort, I do not play as good as I should be- NothIng like Alicia Keys...she's an inspiration in that sense, and in so much more. So my point with mentioning her is because I'll probably quote her a lot. I come up with my own stuff too though. For exAmple; I know I'm gonna use a lot of these, ".............". Why?...no clue. It just adds emphasis or something. Music is a big part of my life so I'm gonna quote loads of songs too. I love kids...well actually more just my nieces and nephews ha...I love theM to death. I love comedy movies and anything that'll make me laugh. I crave chocolate, fruit, and Wingers. I'm on YouTube all the time. I'm into fashion and learning trends. I love beaches n' sun and anything outside. I'm confident yet humble.  
I live in a place where my differences are not admired just because I look, talk, and act slightly different than everyone else around me.